“My hair doesn’t NEED to be fixed. Society’s view of beauty is what’s broken." I remember when I was a little girl, I hated when it was time for my mom to do my hair. I dreaded that comb and brush running through my kinks, those tight tiny elastics used to make twists and that blue magic hair grease being applied to my hair. I would have a storm of tears running down my face, just as that comb broke in my hair. I especially hated the time it took. When I was just about in my pre-teens, there was something about my look that I so desperately wanted to change- my hair. Watching all the girls at school, on TV, and in magazines with silky straight hair I could not help the fact that I did not feel beautiful... I was so focused on "that look" the look society repeatedly loves to represent as beautiful, that I begged and so desperately begged my mother for a relaxer. I was a hormonal pre-teenage girl going through puberty...I just wanted to feel beautiful too...So after my thirteenth birthday my mother finally budged and let me relax me hair. YIKES! But, I sure felt good and like the next Tyra Banks. When I mean I was all up in the mirror with a brush, comb, and camera everyday- I really was! I felt cute and confident. I felt that I would be more accepted if I had straight hair. But the problem was, I felt that I finally fitted in... Now the problem with that is no one should ever feel obligated to "fit in". Whether it is due to their hair, skin color, weight or personality, fitting in should not be a necessity. The confidence that I once had suddenly vanished from my soul. As I tried embracing the look that mother nature created for me, I yet was unable to see what everyone else saw in me. I felt unworthy, not beautiful and so much more. I criticized myself so badly that I started to believe it all more and more everyday. I may not have “the look” that society portrays as beautiful but I do have the mind, soul, and dedication that a lot of people crave for.
As I tried “embracing” this new hair, I could not help to feel like something was not right. It was as if I was missing a piece of who I truly was…The relaxer was not only a painful process that I had to go through every three months but it was emotionally. There were so many rules that came with it. I could not: swim, brush, comb, braid, or curl my hair! It was a disaster! I hated it! My hair was so damaged to the point where it did not grow past my earlobes. Therefore, I began conducting my own research on natural hair, a term referred only to hair those of African descent or of the Black race- very important difference between the two. From articles and blogs to YouTube videos, my eyes opened and noticed something beautiful. What I discovered was amazing! I learned: what it really meant to be natural and how versatile, unique and elegant it is. I became so inspired and confident enough to take initiative to embrace who I really was. Learning about other African American females who struggled with their hair identity but found the strength and inspiration motivated me immensely. At that point I was in love with the Natural Hair Movement. Therefore, on October 14th, 2012, I finally decided to go natural- which changed my life for the better- forever.
Upon my ongoing research I discovered this phrase, “Good Hair” and what it meant to individuals. It was used as a beauty term when indeed it was a survival term. I know when I began my journey I would receive statements such as, “You gotta have that good hair to do that” or just anything referring to the idea, that one must have “good hair” in order to appear beautiful. “The idea that good hair was not a beauty term, it was a survival term that came out of slavery and that men and women who had silkier, curlier and looser hair meant that they were connected to the white man, the master. That meant that they were more likely to have a greater chance of being freed when the master died, which equalled more access to education, better food, clothing, and the necessities of life”. It meant that these slaves relied on this phrase in order to have a chance at a better life. Hair is just not hair. Especially black people’s hair. Back then, even before slavery, black hair was a prized possession that all women desired. It was a blessing and will always be. It represented one’s honor, worth, and beauty.
As soon as I noticed my natural hair growing in, without any agitation, I was excited, nervous, and in love. Seeing those kinky waves and unique texture growing out, I promised myself that I would never go back. I learned how to style with: hair rollers, twists, braids, and bobby pins. I learned how to cleanse, condition, wash and take care of my hair with natural products only. I learned how to be patient and loving with it. My natural kinky, curly and coily hair is not just hair. It is apart of me. Apart of my ancestry. Apart of my identity. Being natural means that I am: Bold, Live, Articulate, Charming and Kind. I am a black queen and will always be.
Throughout my journey to self discovery, I will forever continue my journey to my dreams. Looking back, I hate how I changed myself in order to fit in. I hate how I let others encourage me that it was "OK" and for the better. I hate how I let society’s definition of beauty dictate mine. But, I don’t regret it for one second. If I did not ever get that relaxer, then I would not know how to appreciate and embrace me for who I really am. I would not know how to embrace my culture, race, and ethnicity. I would not know how to capture my identity. I would not have been able to learn what it really means to be natural. What it really means to embrace my kinky and coily hair. Especially as a big sister, it was, and always will be, extremely important for me to encourage, inspire and reassure my sister of her beauty and worth. To reassure her that her hair is a beautiful and a cherished gift. As I continue to grow into the young woman that I am today, I want to and will make a difference by inspiring young black girls that, Black Is beautiful and will always be.
XoXo!
P.S.
*Check out this song that greatly inspired me!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJ57k593Ff8
I really really enjoy this post - you tend to elaborate everything right into place well said ~ Izzie
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting. I think using hair to express who you are is an empowering tool. When I initially started twisting my hair, their were some people that associated it with thugging. What one thing has to do with the other is beyond me. Needless to say, I ignored them. I was not about to reason with ignorance. Besides, action speaks louder than words. They got to witness first hand what kind of man wears dreadlocks. To this day I'm respected and admired for who I am. Dreadlocks and all.
ReplyDeleteRock your natural! You're beautiful inside and out! XOXO
Thanks for posting. I think using hair to express who you are is an empowering tool. When I initially started twisting my hair, their were some people that associated it with thugging. What one thing has to do with the other is beyond me. Needless to say, I ignored them. I was not about to reason with ignorance. Besides, action speaks louder than words. They got to witness first hand what kind of man wears dreadlocks. To this day I'm respected and admired for who I am. Dreadlocks and all.
ReplyDeleteRock your natural! You're beautiful inside and out! XOXO